Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
If a kindergartner gets an apple for lunch, he/she will stab it with a fork and try to eat it like a lollipop.
They are always shocked to discover everyone in the class is five or six...In fact, I've had several say to me, "Hey! Guess what? I'm five and he's five, too!"
In kindergarten, the "S" word is stupid or shut up. They are quite scandalized when someone uses these words.
If someone is caught using the "S" word, he/she will often say, "I was just sayin' it to myself."
Very often, kindergarten children will rattle off a bunch of nonsense words and tell you they are "speaking Spanish." Many times they will do this to actual Spanish speakers who, oddly enough, seem unphased by this.
At nap time, if one of them starts coughing, they will ALL start fake coughing. Seriously, it's like working in a tuberculosis ward.
When they first begin to write their names, they will often write them on furniture. When caught, they will deny it, because they haven't figured out that they're the only ones who would write their own names.
Guest speakers who haven't spent a lot of time with five-year-olds will usually ask the kids, "Are there any questions?" Which ALWAYS elicits the response, "One time, I was at Chuck E. Cheese...." Suckeerrrs....
Every time an X-men movie comes out, I have to say, "Take your crayons out from between your fingers. You are not Wolverine."
Sunday, January 10, 2010
See this kid?
He is hilarious. In fact, he has said things several times this year that have caused me to have to leave the room because I was losing it. He's one of those funny, well-loved, confident kids that just makes me laugh.
Anyway, at the beginning of September, my kids were writing their first journal entry. I was still getting to know them, so I had them draw a picture of me and write a sentence about it. I do this so I can check out their writing and drawing. And I know a LOT about kindergarten writing and drawing. In fact, I even know a thing or two about art therapy...which means in college, I hung around with a lot of art therapy majors and they told me some stuff. One (of the two) things I learned was that kids with chaotic lives will often draw a circle around their drawings, showing a need to protect.
So, back to the journals....I was walking around the room, checking every one's progress, and I had to keep going by this kid's table to tell him to quit talking and get to work. He kept right on yapping. Finally, I told him he could either quit talking or he could go sit at a table by himself. He decided to get quiet. The next time I walked by his table, I noticed he'd drawn a large circle around his picture of me. Of course, with all my art therapy expertise, I was intrigued. Upon closer examination, I saw that he had drawn four lines coming out of the large circle and another teeny, tiny circle on top of the big one. Well, folks, we were in uncharted territory. So I had to ask, "What's that?" He fixes me with this stare (commonly known as the stink eye) and says, "That's you. The monster ate you."
Hmmm...maybe instead of learning about a need to protect, I should have learned something about passive aggressiveness and latent hostility in kindergarten drawings....